Is This The Worst Squeeze Page Ever?

The thing about Landing Page conversions that most people don’t understand is that it doesn’t matter what you like to look at, it doesn’t matterĀ  what you think works, and it doesn’t matter whether you tell me you won’t opt into a page that looks like this or that.

What matters is whether the page actually works.

So earlier today when I was on a popular internet marketing forum and a member wrote for some “suggestions to improve my conversion rate”, I wasn’t quite prepared to see what I saw.

Now I’ve seen some bad squeeze pages before, but this one was different in an eerily familiar way. In fact, it was downright weird. And bad. Or, I should say it was bad based on the fundamentals of good squeeze page design that I’ve studied and used for the last half dozen years.

The strangest part, though, was that the owner of the site claimed that he was getting a 30% opt-in rate.

Now look…

On average, an average squeeze page with average “cold” traffic will average about a 20% conversion rate. Okay, that’s not a hard and fast rule by any means — I’ve had pages that converted at 80% with warm traffic, and substantially less with crappy traffic. But when I looked at this guy’s page — especially considering that his page was promising to teach internet marketing — I just couldn’t believe that he could POSSIBLY be getting a 30% conversion rate, or anything far above zero.

Like I said, though…what I think (or what YOU think, for that matter) doesn’t matter one bit. What matters is the conversion rate, and how it leads to sales.

And you learn that by measuring your results using good tools like Google Analytics, the tools built into Aweber, or split testing tools like Google Website Optimizer or Split Test Accelerator.

So…do ya wanna see the site?

Here’s a screen shot. Click to see it full size.

I happen to think this is one of the worst squeeze pages ever.

Please, click the image to see it full sized. It’s SMALL. It’s actually just an aweber form — with nothing else around it. And the guy has used it as the entire page.

Weird, right?

So do you think it converts at 30%? I guess anything is possible, but I’d bet that there’s more to the story.

So maybe it’s not the absolute worst squeeze page ever, but it looks pretty miserable. Have you ever seen one as bad or worse than this one?

If you have, then I challenge you to show me a worse one…even if it’s your own (It’s okay to post your URLs in your comment. Yes, you’ll get some clicks and some link love, too. That’s okay, so long as you’re showing a really bad squeeze page!)

To the winner, I’ll offer a free critique, worth about $125, whether the page you submit is yours or someone else’s.

Just type the URL as a comment below, with a few words of explanation, or your own comments.

–Mark

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16 Responses to “Is This The Worst Squeeze Page Ever?”

  1. Lyn says:

    For me, the “worst” landing pages are those with video that starts playing automatically. I like to leave browser tabs open, those products that interest me, that I want to consider. And once you have several of the auto playing type opening the browser becomes a nightmare.

    But that’s from a consumer viewpoint.

  2. Robert says:

    Ok Mark,
    Here is the link to one of my bad crappy squeeze pages. Turn the dogs out. Best reguards.
    http://www.peanutmall.com/New_Custom_3.html

    -Peet

    P.S. i LIKE YOUR WORK.

  3. David says:

    Mark,

    The one thing I’ll say good about the sales letter you present – is if anything, it’s single minded in it’s intent: it has one thing the visitor is supposed to do, – and it’s um… very .. red…

    I did find a sales letter that rivals yours, but I think it’s worse than yours because, it literally gives the visitor, probably a hundred or perhaps, even a thousand places to go and things to do,.including searching for every single clickbank product for sale..ever.. so while your sales letter is not visually appealing (at all)..it is singularly focussed and I’m sure has a better conversion rate than the one I’ve presented.

    I’m working with some friends that have an awesome gumbo recipe – so as I was doing some – market recon, I came across that page.

    Rock On Mark,
    Dave

  4. David says:

    continued…Here is the Sales page I found…

    Sorry..http://www.dunway.com/grill_recipes/index.html

    Dave

  5. Lee Pound says:

    Hi Mark,
    Mark, I’m glad to see you taking on bad squeeze pages. I agree with Lyn about the video starting to play immediately although I actually experimented with doing one on a squeeze page that has converted 20% since I put it up.

    I haven’t run across a squeeze page as bad as the examples above. Will post here if I do.
    Warmly,
    Lee
    Lee Pound´s last blog ..How Writing Makes Marketing Work My ComLuv Profile

  6. Mick says:

    Thanks

    One of mine was that bad im not even going to post it here, But this one is not much better, It might look more prettier than yours because of color, but lets face it, Its crap

    http://solo-ad-marketing.com/proof/team.html

    Dont slag me off to much tho lol

  7. Diane says:

    Hi Mark!

    Thank you for this opportunity!! I hope I lose … er .., win (?) ;o)

    http://www.thecontractorsgroup.com/nwsltr/Subscribe.htm

    Have a great day!
    Diane

  8. Kinect says:

    Gosh Mark. I only wish my squeeze page was a lot more stupid ;). Enjoy but don’t gasp:
    http://marketingego.com/would_you_like_a_chance_to_make.htm
    - Rck
    Kinect´s last blog ..Game Enthusiasts Line Up for Xbox 360 Device Release My ComLuv Profile

  9. Mark Widawer says:

    Hi Lyn.

    One thing that’s important to keep in mind is that just because someone doesn’t like something does not mean that they’ll react consistently with their dislike.

    In other words, there are tons of people who don’t like videos that start automatically, and still buy from those pages.

    You can take an ethical (?) stand and say you just won’t use that tactic on your site, but if your goal is to maximize your profits, then you’ll test it.

    Use Google’s Website Optimizer and show the same page with two different videos…one that starts automatically and one that starts only when clicked.

    See which one Google tells you sells better (one will certainly beat the other).

    That’s the one you go with.

    …at least, that’s the one you go with IF you are interested in making as much money as possible.

    –Mark

  10. [...] A couple of days ago, I wrote a post on my blog called “Is this the worst squeeze page ever?” [...]

  11. Lyn says:

    Hi Mark,

    Yes, I quite understand what you are saying. It’s all about max conversion…

    I did say I was writing from a consumer viewpoint.

    And on behalf of any people who surf whilst they are in work!

    Lyn

    PS I enjoyed the mention! Fame at last.

  12. Jim says:

    Hi Mark,

    That is an amazingly bad design. It is so unusual that it is almost fascinating…kinda like a train wreck you can’t take your eyes off of. He had to have been conducting some sort of test don’t you think???

    I have folks that want the vid to start immediately…personally I don’t like it but some of my clients do.

    Here is a page to review…not one that I set up. http://www.stemcelldefence.com Warning…the vid starts immediately! :-)

    I would be interested in what you have to say about spit testing and your preferred methods/tools.

    Best,

    Jim

  13. Maurice says:

    This landing page was built following “tried and true” landing page templates…but it doesn’t work for squat.

    http://www.InsidersSpeak.com
    Maurice´s last blog ..Freaking Out My ComLuv Profile

  14. Mark Widawer says:

    Ah yes. Fame at last.
    Yes, I noticed your “as a consumer” comment. I hope you didn’t take the post as a slap of any kind. It was just a good jumping off point.
    I thought to devote an entire post to my response after writing a reply to you. I hope my Traffic and Conversion blog benefits you. Thanks for your previous comment.
    Let me know what questions are bugging you, and I’ll see if I can answer more of them for you here.
    -Mark

  15. Claude says:

    Check out this squeeze page. It’s my first attempt.

    http://bit.ly/cSaJRL

  16. Moshe says:

    OK. Those are truly bad examples. I would love to see some good examples that really work.
    Anybody?

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